|Posted by Junrix Monter on February 17, 2014 at 9:45 AM|
"JUSTIFICATION OF MY LIFE"
I may seem to appear as a totally serious – type of person at first glance but lo and behold, better take a good look. Beneath that, lurks a kaleidoscope of personality that if you know how to unleash it, will leave you in wonder and keep you wondering for more. I am just simply a complex person who can be lively and bubbly in one moment and be moody in just a snap.
Being a multi-talented person, I can easily adapt to changes. With a sense of versatility, I have a desire to try a “little bit of everything”. Which makes me a “ jack of all trades, but a master of none” when it comes to singing, acting, hosting, event organizing, script-writing and public speaking. I easily get bored and restless that as much as possible I have to make my day a productive one. I have to be intellectually stimulated to sharpen my wits. How? Read, read, read.
I just have the inclination to gather information from a wide range of subjects. As this is my way of indulging this crave of mental stimulation and challenges. Having this knack for writing, I’m still trying to hone this even if it means writing the story of my life in my diary or writing poetry which must rhyme in every line. Despite my being some kind of a ‘prodigy’, I’m still insecure about my talents and hesitant to show what I’ve got.
Bottom line, I don’t have much of the guts to show it unless desperate measures call for it. When it comes to making conversations, believe me, it’s not a simple thing to do for me. As I am sometimes an anti-social and dealing with people can be hard. But learning to use charm, charisma coupled with sincerity to know a person’s interests may be a good way to capture the heart of a friend. At times, to keep things amusing I have the tendency to flit from one topic to another, as a way to utilize what I’ve read and try out ideas just to enjoy a battle of words.
When it comes to friendship, I’m just a chameleon who can easily get along with anyone despite our own differences. I love to listen and sympathize to other people’s woes and blues. I get to befascinated to hear their unusual experiences in life. Listening to it, helps you learn about life from those people you met in buses, along the streets, or from any walks of life. It might seem good to be a chameleon but it just might be the downside of friendship. An asset can also turn out to be a liability.
As I have the tendency to easily trust and treat them as a longtime friend with all the sincerity and loyalty that I can offer, even though we’ve just met. Which is why, I end up being taken advantaged of, ridiculed, criticized and insulted personally. Even if I’ve been stabbed once behind my back, I still try to maintain a “we’re still in good terms”, like, that, didn’t happen. But if this goes on and on, sad to say, you better start wondering why I left without a trace and walk out without explanations. It’s just hard for me to tell friends on how much they’ve hurt me or betrayed me. But if time comes for us to cross each other’s path, all is forgiven but not forgotten.
Truth is, I am sensitive to people’s criticisms, gossips, and prejudices. I hate to be misjudged not knowing the real reason behind every action and decision. I cannot “stomach” being surrounded by a bunch of hypocrites who can be overly nice when you’re face – to – face but once you’ve turned around, ‘it’s’ already spreading nasty talks about you.
Most of all, I abhor crab mentality of a person just to surpass you, to trample your self-esteem and take what you’ve gained. When it comes to work, I discovered that I am a workaholic. I may not be pursuing a career right now just to make a lot of money but I still find a way to earn in an honest way of living. Since, honesty is what I highly value. Even if the job doesn’t provide enough compensation, still, I have a way to sustain because I learn to save my meager income than easily spend it. Not to mention, that I can juggle two jobs in a day.
I certainly believe that the means does not justify the end. I would rather work honestly even if I struggle my way slowly towards that position. As long as I will be given what’s justifiably due for me. But, if I feel like I’m being manipulated and misused for other’s benefit and self-interest in an illicit way, I’d rather starve myself than compromise my principles in exchange for fame, power and money.
For what I’ve been through in life, my so-called ‘traumatic’ experiences, there’s one thing I’ve learned the most. I would rather live and build myself as a person of character than live and build to be a person of reputation and fortune. I don’t believe that God will measure a man with his worldly success but through character that a man develops in the stream of life.